I have always felt as if I'm a part of this secret 'leftist' organisation; left handed that is, not left winged (sorry TPF! I couldn't resist). I'm not really sure if it makes a huge difference whether you're left handed or right handed, but I don't know, I feel special, as if I'm a part of this cool minority.
When I was younger I used to have a whole lot of problems. To tell you the embarrassing truth, I still have a lot of problems with household appliances and everything else really. It is traumatizing for a child not to be able to use a pair of scissors efficiently till the age of at least 8 or 9. I remember when we used to have 'paper craft' lessons in kindergarten, everyone else used to be having a great time and used to be showing each other the things they had made at the end of the lesson; then there was me, sitting in the corner still trying to cut the paper.
I should also tell everyone about the countless ink smudges I have borne on my school notes because I write with my left hand. I happen to be a 'neat-freak' as TPF eloquently put it once, when it comes to paper smudges, doodles, bad highlighting and other disruptions like a change in the colour of the ink or a change in the type of pen or anything else that messes up the uniformity of the writing on my notes. So the ink smudges affect me a bit more than one would imagine. Fine, I'll admit it, I'm paranoid about ink smudges, I hate ink smudges and everytime I see one, I feel like tearing the paper and re-writing everything.
Keys, wow, now that's a big one now. I still have problems with opening doors with keys. The main problem is that I can't open a door with my right hand, nope, it just doesn't work, I've been trying for the last 18 years, it just doesn't. When I use my left hand to open the door, I always end up turning the key the wrong way. So my main way out of this is that I keep turning the key in random directions till the door opens. Cutlery is another problem. When I was little my poor mother spent years teaching my how to hold the knife and fork properly in the correct hands that they are supposed to be held. I took ages to learn. Actually, I still have problems using my knife, my right hand ends up having a muscle pull after every time I have used the knife for dinner and I don't think that happens to most people. I also hold the spoon in my left hand, by the way but that's not as too bad.
If all this wasn't bad enough, I'm also terrible in directions. Well I'm not bad in perceiving the way in my head but I just take time to distinguish the direction left from right on the road. I have to think which side is left and which side is right and can't say it from the top of my head like most other people. That is why I'm such a bad navigator.
But then there are the advantages. You get people you've known for years come up to you and tell you 'Oh, you're left handed, I never noticed, how weird!'. But despite all this abuse by the 'right' dominated society, we still manage to live and survive without protesting against all the problems we have to face and why should we must face all these problems, one might ask? All because we use the right side of our brains to think! But now I think we have borne enough, the time has come to act and speak out against the inustice of the 'right' world. Therefore, my dear brothers and comrades, I call upon you to unite, rebel against the 'right' injustice and form a global political party that constitues of a highly exclusive 'left' group of people. Our motto will be: '(left-handed) Workers of the world, unite!' (Although that might sound a little familiar and might cause some confusion with a whole other group of people that want to unite (Sorry TPF!), it still it makes a good slogan and serves our club purposes) and we shall slowly and steadily take over this world. Its true that we are outnumbered, but we have the element of surprise and intelligence on our side. Together, we shall form a 'left' society which is based on liberty, equality and fraternity for all 'left' people and execute the others in order to purify our race.
8 comments:
A while back I read in the news that, according to research, left handed people tend to be more agressive than right handed people. The proof for this is that there are, apparently, a disproportionate number of murders committed by left handers....
Wow, you are leftie, I never noticed, how weird? lol
Evolution seemed to have skipped the left-handers. You know, survival of the fittest, where the tyranny of the majority rules (btw I quote Faber from Fahrenheit 451, an excellent read)
Though the lefties seemed to live on, not inspite of it but rather because of being left-handed. When most of the world fought with swords on the right hands, the lefties had an immense advantage. They were the real assets for any army.
A couple of weeks ago, my business practices prof asked the class to do a presentation on what they thought was an excellent business oppurtunity not really utilized. One of my ideas was a complete home-improvement firm for the lefties. Right from door-knobs to personal computers. He was quite happy with it since he himself is one. Earned brownie points there.
phew I should get this spirit for writing when on my own blog.
you're left handed?
my, the things you learn....
lol. you hate ink smudges, different kinds of ink and doodles?
lol. oh man, thats it. i didnt know what to post on my blog next but i do now. you're going to seriously reconsider your friendship with me after this.
Yeah, you should apologize, you Fascist, you!
You get people you've known for years come up to you and tell you 'Oh, you're left handed, I never noticed, how weird!'
I still do that, don't I? =)
I must say the whole paper cutting in a corner incident is very aw-worthy. As for the neat freakiness, well, you must admit that I've stopped doodling on your paper now, in respect of your obsession. The least you could do is recognize that, don't you think?
HAHA! Keys in random directions! Even I do that, and I'm right-handed (or should I say normal?).
TSK you suck. Right rules.
frankengirl - now that 6 people know about THE left PLAN, as I like to call it; its going to be enough to spread the terror among the remaining 6 billion.
harry sweetie, this blog is meant for relatively serious purposes, like my life. I will be deeply obliged if you refrained from commenting when you have nothing productive to share :P
Ash - I wasn't ever sure on whether how reliable those studies are but even if they are true, it is rather understable that traumatized children who were picked on in school for not being able to efficiently cut would take up a profession that involves shart objects, just to prove to the world that they can ;)
Nitin - I liked Fahrenheit 451, I'm a big distopian literature fan. Although that may be because of my twisted perception of what the future is going to become. Next time I'm in a war, I shall remember my advantage ;) Actually you're kind of right, when I was younger and used to play cricket, I used to bat quite well and that could have been because of my left handedness, but maybe that is just an urban myth. Oh great, I forgot to mention door knobs, I knew I was forgetting something. Yeah, we 'left' people just have to randomly keep turning the knob like keys you know till the door opens.
Cookie - Alright, I'm never forgiving you for not knowing I was left handed..you'd better have a pretty good explaination about your lack of knowledge .
TPF - OMG, you've stopped doodling on my notes after 2 years and now you're behaving like its a favour? Let my not remind you of my Economics folder, that is going to be sold on e-bay one day becase of the Darth-Me comic strip that you're drawn all over and I'm not even starting with the blue highlighter incident here..
I am the same! I am a clean freak and I can't stand the smudges either! Before, I would always have to check my left hand for smudges after writing only a page of notes. If I did, then I would have to rub it off right away - so that my notes wouldn't get re-smudged from my own hand. But now, I don't have that smudging problem anymore. I got one of those SmudgeGuards and I can write without the worry anymore. That product is like a godsend for lefties!
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